The Joy...

Of Living Alone.

Here's to all those brazen, shameless individuals who choose to live alone. It's one of life's best kept secrets, not widely-propagated as those in the 'know' abide by the rules so closely that it would be impossible to share such esoteric knowledge. Enigma aside, it's a wondrous luxury to live alone! I don't suppose many of you know how great it is. That's because we're all too busy being alone to even think about telling other people. But, seriously, it is a joy unrivalled to be in a position where conflict is non-existent; and washing-up and cleanliness is a not-so-urgent necessity (carried out at your own discretion and not a minute sooner). Lie-ins are plentiful, music is blasted, loud singing compulsory. Peace, quiet, and space to breathe are all helpful benefits of such delightful living conditions, coupled with the option of rejoining the human race when you feel like it!

Of course, there was a time when I thought people who chose to be alone weren't really 'choosing' at all, and that nobody really liked them. I used to stare in incredulity when people said they "wanted to be alone" -- "sorry, do you want me to leave!?". Now, after a plethora of awful living situations, I realise the true value of peace and quiet. Of doing things your own way and not feeling selfish.

So, for an easy stress-free gorgeous experience, live alone. Ignore the Eleanor Rigby nonsense and forget about being eaten by Alsatians. It's bloody marvellous. End of.