Make It Easy On Yourself.

...as the Walker Brothers so concisely put it. Easier said than done, perhaps, in this day and age. Naturally, we salute the wonders of modern-day social networks such Facebook, Twitter, etc, in love’s first flush. Seemingly, stalking is rendered socially acceptable if carried out on Facebook, but one mustn’t transgress the boundary of what has become our second ‘virtual’ reality and transfer such behaviour into our immediate reality. No, no. Nonetheless, this kind of behaviour is a great way of eradicating those post-first-date thoughts, like “is he attractive? I can’t remember what he looks like!”, and, most importantly “is he a freak/pervert/misogynist/loser/fuckwit?” Of course, there is a school of thought which maintains that Facebook has killed romance. We have become throwaway regarding our potential partners. His profile picture isn’t attractive enough. His status updates are boring. He doesn’t have many friends.
A few years ago I met a gorgeous guy in a bar, chatted for ages, flirted wildly, and developed a bit of a crush. Later that night, he added me on Facebook. I didn’t like his profile picture. He was dressed as a skeleton. I decided I didn’t like him after all. He messaged me “Hey, how are you? Really nice to meet you last night. Xx.” I responded a week later with the most bland and dismissive message imaginable. I blush now to think of how ridiculous I was/am.


On a more serious note, however, Facebook can be a source of unbearable pain. I recently wrote of an obsession that haunted me. It ceased to be enjoyable about a month ago, for reasons too painful to disclose. Needless to say, seeing his name in my list of ‘friends’ was, and still is, a problem for me. I can’t bring myself to cut him out of my life. Seemingly, if I delete him from Facebook, it means an infinite end will be brought to our ‘relationship’ and any link to a life I once had. When I talk of any heartache amongst friends, the immediate response is “DELETE HIM!”…as if this would suddenly cure all evils and represent some terrific act of revenge. No. To sound trite, I won’t give him the satisfaction.
Facebook is Fakebook, after all. We project a false image, a public persona, based on what we want others to think of us. We mock those who reveal too much of themselves online and make sure we never expose our true identity online.

Break-ups are awful. If you have the strength to do it, delete that person from your life. Not for the reaction such a gesture will surely engender from the party in question, but instead for the liberating feeling that will ensue! If you can’t bring yourself to do it, which is perfectly acceptable, find a brilliant distraction to prevent perpetual perusals of your ex’s wall.

But, the best thing to do, of course, is to get the hell offline. Make some coffee, grab a cigarette and think “Yes. My life is so much better without him.”